Just Be Kind To Me
Last Friday, court went as expected: no plea has been recorded and an extension was granted. The next court appearance will not be until July 31 at 9:00am. We have been assured this is a normal course of action in criminal proceedings. Common, maybe, but I'm not sure I'd classify anything about what I have experienced in our justice system as "normal." (My yoga students are quite familiar with my passion on the topic of normal vs. common, and I highly recommend the book The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate, but I digress...) Thank you to everyone who turned up to support us in court or online- that was our best showing yet, and our prosecutor, Deputy DA O'Bryan Kenney reminds us that the numbers matter every time he sees us. With so many people attending with us, the court will understand how much Jeannessa mattered to our community!
Our justice system is undoubtedly broken. People with petty charges rot in prison while overwhelming concern is given to removing the liberties of violent criminals who terrorize innocent people. And don't get me started on issues of race, class, and gender which are very much tangled up in this far from just system. Let's be clear, I am all for a person's right to a fair trial, especially in cases in which people are wrongly accused or there is more to the story than what initially meets the eye.
In our case, however, there is an overwhelming amount of evidence that should lead to a swift conviction, including text exchanges between Jeannessa and her friends expressing her fear that he would kill Tarrah that go back to last July. The defendant is a menace to our community with a long history of criminal activity and domestic violence who has yet to show any signs of remorse. While I support his right to a fair trial, I fail to see how the manner in which our criminal courts function is serving this purpose. If we are lucky, the preliminary hearing will happen before the end of the year. The purpose is to determine if there is probable cause to proceed with a criminal prosecution. That's right- four or five days in court to determine “probable cause” in this case!
Why on earth do we have to sit through four or five days of a preliminary hearing to establish probable cause!? The reasoning, I have been told, comes down to this issue of "fairness." In other words, every defendant must be given the right to the same legal procedures. However, "fair" does not always mean everyone is treated the same. There must be a threshold in cases like this to eliminate the wasting of time, taxpayer money, and most importantly, the unnecessary trauma inflicted on the family and friends of the victims.
My daughter has been gone for over seven months now and this asshole has not yet even put in a plea. As I understand it, he can refuse to put in a plea as long as he wants. Every step of this process has compounded the trauma I am experiencing as a result of his heinous actions and I haven't even been presented with the detailed evidence yet. I have heard much discussion about the rights of the defendant, but absolutely nothing concerning my safety, emotional health, or my liberties. And that's just me. There is also my family, who will live with this trauma for the rest of our lives, not to mention the trauma felt by literally hundreds of people who loved Jeannessa. It has been unmistakably clear how far and wide the ripples from losing Jeannessa have reached.
To be fair, I do think the DA's office is doing the best job they can under the law. I respect and appreciate Deputy DA Kenney. It's the system itself that is the issue. The processes that are in place to support the needs of the victims are performative at best and downright harmful at worst. As an example, there are public funds available for counseling victims, but in order to access them, extensive paperwork must be filled out, and once approval is granted, superbills must be denied by personal insurance before the victim's fund will pay. And if they do pay, it's a maximum of $100 per appointment. No legitimate therapist in the Bay Area charges that little! That's a lot of barriers for people who do not have the resources to navigate this system and likely have the greatest need.
How much time and money could be saved and used to truly support victims or even prevent crime in the first place if we had a more efficient system? Every time we have been to court, there is a docket filled with many other cases. The majority of the time, the attorneys and judge are just going over their calendars to reschedule the proceedings. There are clearly not enough people to manage the work load and things are spinning out of control.
It's important to me to be there every step of the way to stand up for my daughter and it's infuriating how many hours I will have spent in court by the time he is convicted- hours I could have spent engaged in my community, volunteering to make the world a better place, just trying to enjoy what is left of my life. It's adding insult to the worst injury of my life. And while I sit there in the courtroom, doing my best to stay calm and present, to shield myself from the ever regenerating trauma, the court doesn't care what would make things easier for the victims, or ask us what would feel supportive, or consider how this shitty system multiplies the harm that was done by one fucked up person who should have been put behind bars for crimes he committed years ago. Being a little kinder, a little more considerate, frankly is not too much for any grieving mother of an innocent murder victim to ask for.