Grateful

As a Deadhead, “grateful” is a word that is just part of my daily lexicon, and it is truly a feeling that I embody everyday. Over the years, I have thought about what it means and have worked to create a life that I am truly grateful for. It’s easy to feel gratitude when dancing with a bunch of joyful hippies at a show…when times get tough though, that’s when remaining in that place of gratitude truly matters.

I think it goes without saying that losing my oldest daughter is the toughest thing I’ve ever faced. The loss of a child is always heart breaking- the fact that she was murdered in cold blood in her own home adds multiple layers of complexity. And yet, I’ve remained in a place of gratitude. I am grateful for the 24 years I had with this bright, witty, kind, difficult, fun, challenging, beautiful soul in my life. I am grateful for her spirit that forced me to grow into my best self. I am grateful for the tools gained from decades of a committed spiritual practice. I am grateful for my community who has showed up with meals, listening ears, hugging arms, a presence in the courtroom, and anything and everything we have possibly needed these last six weeks. I am grateful for my resilient children and the best husband/friend a person could ask for. I am grateful for the music. I am grateful.